So drunk its hurt
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
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