He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
