i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
