are you still at the devil's house?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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