U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
