I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
