Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
