so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
