Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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