I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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