Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
