She is in my trunk
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
