she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
