just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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