I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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