Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
