can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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