sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I need moral support for this bender
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
