I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
