My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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