i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
