First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
