Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
