I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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