someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
