Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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