its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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