i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
