It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
We have so much sex to catch up on
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
