I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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