Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
