Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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