Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
