She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
