And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
