I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Four minutes until I can fart!
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
