Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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