Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
i believe in u and ur pee
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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