Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
My ass is underappreciated
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
