Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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