Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize