How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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