i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
