At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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