as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
