Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
