Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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