I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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