Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize