There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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