I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
