8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize
