I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
He felt like a one man threesome
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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