I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize