the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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