Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
