Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
