He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
