Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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