i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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