WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
