operation have a gay friend backfired
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
