I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
