Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
