D3 body, D1 cock
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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