i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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