I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
