We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
